John Dies at the End Rthat When You Read the Bible, the Devil Looks Back at You Through the Pages

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John Dies at the Finish by David Wong
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John Dies at the End Quotes Showing 121-150 of 255

"—Kill me and burn my body. Then burn this identify down on peak of me. Observe the other doors if at that place are more, and fire them downward, too. In fact, but burn the whole boondocks. Just to be safe."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Cease

"I'1000 burning out, John. Seriously. I don't know if I'm up for this. I experience stretched out, similar too little butter scraped over too much waffle. And then it all falls down into one of the waffle holes and there'south none left for the rest of the waffle and you lot sort of take to tilt it to get in run out."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"Fred nodded and said, "So what you're saying is, if we all die, that's not even the worst-instance scenario."
John replied, "I'd all the same similar to shoot a little higher than that, Freddy."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"A lot of unemployment, though. We've got two closed factories and a rotting shopping mall that went bankrupt earlier it ever opened. We're non far from Kentucky, which marks the unofficial edge to the South, and then one sees more than enough pickup trucks decorated with stickers of Amalgamated flags and slogans proclaiming their brand of truck is superior to all others. Lots of country music stations, lots of jokes that contain the discussion "nigger." A sewer system that occasionally backs up into the streets for some unknown reason. Lots and lots of stray dogs around, many with grotesque deformities."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"The affair with Jen ended with a pregnancy scare. She had seen my earth and didn't want to bring a babe into it. This led to some violent arguments during which I pointed out, loudly and in sprays of spittle, that if she got an ballgame the fucking unborn fucking fetus would likely fucking haunt us—I mean literally haunt our home—until the day we died and perchance beyond. It turned out that was the incorrect thing to say."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Cease

"This is my emergency kit. Information technology independent a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with ii hundred dollars, two bags of dried fruit, two packages of beef hasty, three bottles of water, a roll of thick shop towels you see mechanics use, a small metallic pipe - just right for cracking a skull with - and a false beard. Wait, you never know."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Cease

"Some other seize with teeth victim lay nearby, a immature man writhing as if in a seizure. Eventually his legs kicked themselves free from the residual of his body. The limbs thumped along the floor on their ain like two giant polyester snakes with shoes for heads. Right behind them was a loose head stuck to a single arm, furiously biting and clawing the rug. I felt similar nosotros might not be in command of this situation any longer."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"I glanced at Desperately Drawn Jesus, then pulled the gun from my pocket. On Judgment Day, I'd be able to proudly state that when I thought the hordes of Hell were coming for a local girl, I stood set up to shoot at them with a small-quotient pistol."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"I stared at the affair, blinking, thinking it would reveal itself to be, I don't know, a hot-water heater or something. Then I realized the monster-shaped shadow was, surprisingly, a monster."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Cease

"Close to information technology was an aquarium tank filled with a thick, yellowish substance that could take been slug slime and at the bottom was a wrinkled grayish mass that could have been a man brain or possibly a meat-loaf."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Terminate

"After a moment I realized information technology was only Fred Durst and the grouping Limp Bizkit—Shitload'due south favorite band. They're the ones who invented the musical technique of feeding a list of generic rap phrases to a caprine animal, so reading its turds into a microphone over heavy metal guitar."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"A teenager stood there. Right in the middle of my living room, a infinite that had been proudly teenager-gratuitous for years."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Stop

"At this signal, John flung himself to the footing and screamed, "Y'all SHOT ME! AAARRRRGHHH!" Not a shot had been fired. I rushed to John'southward side. "Yous shot him! He has iv kids! Or should I say, iv orphans."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Stop

"Everybody was circling effectually Robert, trying to get to the door while fugitive the infested, oozing mess and-holy shit is this song bad. Information technology was like the singer was stabbing my ear with a dagger fabricated of dried turds."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"John unzipped the satchel and pulled out a weapon he had made, a Bible wrapped around the cease of a baseball bat with electrician's tape. He brought it up to the fix. I pushed "play."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Stop

"As shortly as you lot become abode, yous run across the reanimated body of the guy you lot beheaded earlier. He'due south too got a new caput, stitched on with what looks like plastic weed-trimmer line, and it'south wearing that unique expression of "you're the man who killed me concluding winter" resentment that one then rarely encounters in everyday life."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"I'm Danny Wexler and this is Channel Five sports! The [Undisclosed] football team has been raped in the donkey by fate once more, booted from the offset round of the playoffs as they failed to carry their inflatable turd past a chalk line in the grass as often every bit their opponents did. Hither's Hornets quarterback Mikey Wolford, flopping that right arm effectually like a retard while he tries to pass to a teammate that apparently only he can come across. Aaaaand, it'south intercepted. Nice pass, 'tard! Now hither's Spartans fullback Derrick Simpson, pumping those nigger thighs downward the field like pistons on a auto designed for cotton picking. Ooh, overnice tackle try there, Freddy Mason! I bet you could tackle that fullback if he was made of dick, couldn't you, Freddy? But, he's not, so final score, 40-one to seventeen. May every Spartan die with a turd on his lips. All hail Korrok."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"John's java, which tasted similar battery acid someone had pissed in so cursed at for several hours."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"Our world," he said, "is far more avant-garde than yours. For reasons you lot'll sympathise shortly." A thin, bony naked woman entered the room, carrying two minor, white kittens. She saturday one of the fluffy cats in my lap and stuffed the other down my shirt. She turned and left. "At that place," said the large man. "The kittens volition make your sad become abroad."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Stop

"Saving the earth, that's Hollywood bullshit. The all-time I tin do is salvage a picayune scrap of the world, this trivial corner that me and this girl stand in. And every fourth dimension I call back that, somewhere I can hear laughter. Them laughing. Like the game is over."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"Most people don't realize it until they're facedown on the pavement somewhere, gasping for their final breath. Only and then do they realize that life is a flickering candle nosotros all deport around. A gust of wind, a meaningless accident, a microsecond of carelessness, and information technology's out. Forever. And no i cares. You kick and scream and weep out into the darkness, and no reply comes. You rage confronting the unfathomable injustice and two blocks abroad some guy watches a baseball game and scratches his balls. Scientists talk about affair, the invisible, mysterious substance that occupied the space betwixt stars. Nighttime matter makes up 99.99 percent of the universe, and they don't know what it is. Well I know. It'southward apathy. That's the truth of it; pile together everything we know and care about in the universe and it will however be naught more than a tiny speck in the middle of a vast blackness sea of Who Gives A Fuck."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Terminate

"I don't see it correct now - peradventure information technology was in a different volume - just anyway, he says that when you read the Bible, the Devil looks back at you through the pages."
"What, like his Bible was possessed? Holy shit, he must take been the worst priest ever."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"Did you doze off at that place?" He shook my hand. "Uh, no. I was just tryin' to rub somethin' off the back of my eyelid."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"Well," I said. "Nothing to do right at present but wander the fuck into that abased building, totally unarmed."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"I was hammered by either a flying body tackle or an unnecessarily ambitious hug."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"John tipped a finger at him and said, "Yeah. Thanks for calling us, Drake. Yous're the kind of man a man wants when a homo wants a human being."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

"Hollywood raised united states of america. Your mind processes the world through a filter formed past comic books and action movies on Cinemax. That'south why kids put on trench coats and take guns to school. The Devil knows how to control united states of america."
― David Wong, John Dies at the Cease

"I said before that my skin was "on burn" with the hurting but existence confronted so soon after that sentiment with the actual experience, I acknowledge that other thing was nothing similar my skin actually being on burn down."
― David Wong, John Dies at the End

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